Feel the fear and do it anyways.
Feel the fear and do it anyways...
Last night I had a staff meeting at work and as I was sitting there I observed all my amazing co workers who I now call family as they got set up to sit down and get ready to listen in on our 3 hour meeting. I know, who has a 3 hour staff meeting on a Sunday night?! An amazing company called lululemon. When I first got hired I thought some of the things they did were strange and I have always been an open person so I embraced all they were doing including our 3 hour staff meetings either in the early wee hours of the morning or late evening. (I should also mention they are so amazing they always feed us and treat us!)
The company has been nothing but supportive, I work with all great people, some who I would consider to be my best friends, there's benefits, amazing product I love wearing especially being a yoga teacher, really my life is all lined up!
As I observed the room and smiled at all the chaos happening before the order of the meeting was about to happen it hit me....this will be my second to last staff meeting as I am leaving this amazing company. WHAT?!?!?! I felt a wave of gratefulness fill my heart and sadness.
As the meeting began and we all grabbed our portions of pizza, got clear and celebrated (something that is done always so we can all be present for one another). After that we took care of some housekeeping stuff and then this meeting was a bit different rather than talking product and a fun game or sweat, instead for the next 2 hours we zoned in on our visions and goals. Something the company is passionate about for their employees and until I had started working here I had never really sat down and wrote out a single goal on paper. Sure I had them play around in my head and although completing some in my life. It wasn't until I came here that I really started moving in on and accomplishing some amazing things including one that is coming up this May, travelling to Thailand! AND completing my Baptiste Level one training while I'm there. Flights are booked and training is paid for! It's happening!
They recently redid how they approach visions and goals, originally they requested you create a 10 year vision for yourself and work back to a 5 year and 1 year and separate into categories of health, career and personal life. It worked well considering I am crushing a big goal coming up. This time however we were guided through meditations that were all based around feeling and how you feel rather then what it looks like.
I have been doing visualization meditations just over a year now and have been having the same vision come up of what I am working towards in my life. Ultimately this is not the end goal but a big one.
At the meeting they took us through one and again I was there in the place I have been seeing for over a year. Its so real I can smell it and see it, I am literally standing in it!
So in my brain I have been so focused on taking the steps to get there that I actually gave my notice that I am leaving this amazing company come May 1st.
Even as I type this right now, I can feel myself wanting to throw up the pizza I ate at the staff meeting last night.
I keep questioning why I am and my answer is always the same because...
I got another job?! - Not exactly...
I won the lottery?! - Not yet!
There's something better coming?! - I believe so...
I just know it's time...YES!
I can't truly explain my knowing and I also know I don't need to have an explanation. We ALL have an inner knowing and it's whether or not we are willing to trust our inner compass, our gut even if the future of where were going isn't set up yet. Sounds magical doesn't it?!
So with that being said...I am also human, so as much as I am an incredible dreamer I am also an incredible worrier so lately my practice has been in faith or trust rather.
As I drove home from the staff meeting last night I had an overwhelming feeling wash over me and tears welled up in my eyes..."WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!" ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!?"
I turned up the music and drove a little faster to drown out how I felt. Then as I came in the door and crawled into bed with Kev I started to bawl my eyes out, like I'm talking a serious ugly cry. Finally that lingering feeling of fear finally caught up to me and I broke down.
So I am here to say (mostly for myself)...
No I don't know what I'm doing leaving a safe and amazing work place, I am questioning everything right now AND I am doing it anyways.
"Why?" because I would rather take a chance at possibility and fail then wake up one day and look back only to feel regret.
Even as I type these words to share this I am hoping my courage can help whoever is out there gain there own!
Feel the fear and do it anyways because for me I know that at the end of my life when I look back I want to be able to say "wow! what a ride!"
What do you wanna say?! No, it's not for someone else and it's never to late to begin now even if the scary is something small. After all the life you really want is the one waiting for you just outside your comfort zone...
Feel it and do it anyways because you never know you may just surprise yourself with what you are actually able to do rather then what you tell yourself.
You don't know what you don't know...your life may end up to be more incredible then you could have ever imagine.
I'll keep you posted...