Taking care of yourself IS a job

As I sit here on my couch, the 3rd day of being on my couch I might add as I have been down and out with the common cold and flu. I am now on the mend and coming out of self loathing and pity I am analyzing better ways on how to take care of myself, how to even prevent lol. I realize this happens often when I get sick, looking back filling myself with guilt about all the things I shouldn't have eaten or done, maybe if I was more careful, yada yada yada! It's all BS because RIGHT NOW is where I have to work from and my past is not what I am going to change only learn from. I realize in this moment some of the decisions I made may have been not great like eating KD, chicken fingers and having some drinks, it is also not the end of me and nothing to beat myself up about! Maybe you can relate, beating yourself up about enjoying small moments in life that later may or may not have an impact on you, I guess I'll never really know if the KD and chicken fingers is why I'm really sick OR if I picked up a bug from someone. I'll never know and analyzing that moment isn't going to get me a different result. What I do know is that in that moment I was choosing to enjoy my life, yes by eating KD and chicken fingers, seems silly right?! but I felt like a kid again eating KD and chicken fingers with Kev, Alyssa and Tay and I'll remember that lunch at the cottage forever or as long as my brain holds out, I hope they do too :).

As I contemplate even the smallest tasks to get started on right now I am also reminded what an honour and privilege it is to get to be able to do the simplest things like go to a grocery store where there seems to be an unlimited supply of food AND how grateful to be somewhat healthy enough to do so, I was able to walk (with MY legs) across the street to a doctor to make sure I was ok. It always happens for a reason these moments in life like getting sick. Isn't it interesting how there is always something to put things back in perspective bring me back to the present moment, back to love. I am learning that taking care of myself IS a job, an important one! I am learning the importance of this so that I can be of service to others. By being healthy and happy and giving the gift of my presence to myself and others IS my job. It's so simple and so often can become complicated when I tell myself I am not doing enough, I should be like others, or place guilt on myself for the small things. Some of those things that may not seem right to others but trust your own heart to do what you know is right for you right now, there is a divine plan and all in it's own time so don't stress too much.

Some of those things someone told me I was doing were wrong were the same things that have taken me to some of the most beautiful places. The only thing I can really do to change the world is not complicate things but simplify them. Work from right now where I am and practice putting myself first and fill myself with love so I am able to give that love I feel with in me to others. May I practice gratitude for ALL the moments and things in my life so I may experience all feelings to simply know feeling and figure out my own way to peace in my own heart and show the peace I feel simply through my own presence. Do your best to take care of yourself that IS your service to the world, the better you care for yourself, the more you can care for others.