TRUST, TRUST, TRUST and repeat.
Yesterday I spent my day with Kev getting organized for an appointment at the bank and another one to meet with our tax guy. Ugh! For the past 5 years I have owed on my taxes some due to my own circumstances and others out of my control. I will be honest I am somewhere between knowing how to save and knowing how to spend. I was raised with the balance of my Mom and step father working in corporate jobs and living and breathing a life of money and how to save it and my Dad, a very hard working man who loves to provide for his family and share his wealth. So financial institutions and situations always bring up all sorts of emotions.
As much as I want to say I know how to save and own my spending habits, I am also in the work of giving up the terms "yolo" and "f%$# it".
I believe there is room for everyone in this world and the world needs all of us to operate the way it's meant to. So in other words I appreciate all those that work in finances as it seems numbers is not one of my strongest strengths.
On the drive home from our appointments I was having a bit of a reality check which as much as I don't love is always good. I consider myself to be an extreme dreamer so having the balance of the "real" world (this moment it being money) is a nice reminder to plant my feet here on Earth. This can be compared to you can't experience day without knowing night, happiness without knowing sadness or order without knowing chaos.
After a small cry with Kev by my side to let me experience my cry. He said to me what I often have said to him or any person may say to provide a person comfort or relief in a moment of hopelessness, sadness, uncertainty or fear.
"It's gonna be ok."
Coming from the right vessel (meaning person/body) at the right time will always provide comfort if you are ready to hear it.
Kev was the person and the right place I needed to hear it from. Thanks Babe.
We continued driving, the sun was shining so bright, it felt like a beautiful time to go be by the water. I grabbed a can of wine (yes it was in a can :)), Kev grabbed a can of beer and we went down to chill by the water and enjoy the beach.
This moment allowed me to let go, to surrender and truly see life again with fresh eyes.
Today I let go, I trust that it will be ok. No I don't know for certain but looking through the history of my life, it has always been ok and "it will always be ok." Grandma McCauley used to say.
So today I share this with you....
Even when your path is rocky, unknown, uncertain, you are grieving or in complete loss or doubting anything and everything. This is the moment to trust more than ever. Trust in YOUR path, your on the right one. This very one you are on is meant for you, no one else but you.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Feel what you need to and then let go.
Trust whatever is out there or in you wants what's best for you.
The journey can be long, so stop white knuckling so hard, sometimes its ok to grab that can of wine and just let go.
TRUST, TRUST, TRUST and repeat.